Welcome.

My phone rang last night. It was my neighbor. He was calling to tell me that his wife has slid, in her SUV, on their driveway’s ice which had landed her partially on our driveway. He knew I would be leaving for work soon, and he wanted to make sure I knew their car was slightly obstructing our driveway so I would proceed down it with some caution and not make an accident worse. He told me he was on his way home to help her get unstuck and thought he would have it all completed prior to my having to leave for work (he was successful with that). My husband was gone (or else like every good wife, I would have volunteered him to help). I wasn’t much in way of help, although I did offer.

Though I did have to leave for work within the hour, I thought the most neighborly thing I could do would be to go down and check on his wife, sitting in her SUV. With Lily trailing in front, we made our way down the slippery driveway. Sitting in her SUV bundled warm enough was our neighbor. She and I had a delightful little visit – both of us appreciating the fact that things weren’t worse than they were, that she hadn’t smashed into one of the nearest trees, and that her husband was enroute. I stayed with her until he came. As he pulled up, Lily and I hopped out and went for a little walk down the lane before I had to rush to work.

As we made our way back to the site of the mishap to begin the walk up our driveway, I noticed two things that instantly struck me to my core. First, our neighbor was still at the wheel. Her husband hadn’t taken over. He was standing at the passenger window guiding his wife on what to do, how to position her tires, when to back up, and when to lay on the gas. Secondly, he was speaking so calmly, so kindly, so patiently to her. His language was laced in tender love.

I stood in silence for a moment as I watched the two of them.

Then it came to me. Mature love. This was mature love. I was seeing it played out in a regular life happening for mountain dwellers. It was simple yet so divine. It was tender and absolutely touching. It was born of years of cultivated and crafted love.

Simply stated, it was beautiful.

As I walked up our driveway reflecting on the scene, I recalled another instance of mature love. It’s found in a touching four minute and sixteen seconds video called Enduring Love (see the link below if desired). I bawled when I first saw it, and I was choked up again as I rewatched it just now. The couple is elderly. The man and woman both have significantly obvious physical health challenges. The woman is worse off, and her good husband cares for her. He feeds her breakfast with a shaky hand that makes it hard for her to get the full bite. Then he combs and secures her hair in a clip. He readies her for the day and lets her rest in a chair. All the while, he makes cookies, writes in a card, and sets out a simple bouquet of flowers. He awakens her to the surprise. They must have had an anniversary, or perhaps it was her birthday. It was a special day to remember, and he helped her celebrate it. He even took her to a concert where he danced with her in her wheelchair. It’s just a touching little clip showcasing the mature and enduring love they had for one another.

Though his wife was unable to speak, she offered what she could in slight facial movements. He looked at her with such adoration and love. Mature love. Upholding and sustaining them in way less than desirable conditions.

Again, so very beautiful.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2013-06-0010-enduring-love?lang=eng

And so my mind has been pondering mature love.

I’ve been married long enough to know that a couple doesn’t just one day arrive at this kind of love. It doesn’t just happen for the hoping. It is the product of years of unselfish living, of constant loving, of becoming, of overcoming, of walking together, of becoming one. It’s a billion “I’m sorry’s” and a billion more “I forgive you. Let’s try again.”

But how is it done day by day?

How does love become so mature, so sweet, so pure, so powerful, so Christ-centered, so enduring?

Dieter Uchtdorf gave a remarkable talk in 2016 he entitled, “In Praise of Those Who Save.” It’s come to my rescue so many times in my own marriage when I’ve needed help in being better at saving it.

He gave some really helpful suggestions on the “how” to make love mature and enduring. He said,

“Great marriages are built brick by brick, day after day, over a lifetime. And that is good news. Because no matter how flat your relationship may be at the present, if you keep adding pebbles of kindness, compassion, listening, sacrifice, understanding, and selflessness, eventually a mighty pyramid will begin to grow. If it appears to take forever, remember: happy marriages are meant to last forever! So ‘be not weary in well-doing for ye are laying the foundation of a great [marriage]. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great…’ ” (Uchtdorf, D., In Praise of Those Who Save, April 2016, General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)

He then advised the brethren to “astonish [their wives] by doing things that make [them] happy.” (Uchtdorf, D., In Praise of Those Who Save, April 2016, General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)

That’s great mature love building advice for husbands and wives.
I read an article some time ago where the author said she once found a piece of paper in her husband’s drawer or on his dresser (can’t recall which). In essence, it said something to this effect: “What can I do to bring joy to [wife’s name] today?”

Wow! Isn’t that impressively touching? What a mature love cultivator.

And then this from a wise Dieter Uchtdorf:

“…Those who save marriages pull out the weeds and water the flowers…” Isn’t that a tender image? I’ve never met a landscaper who prefers weeds in his/her flower beds, because he/she indeed wants those beds to look quite lovely and add sweetly to the beauty of a front or back yard. And every flower needs water to bloom. What a perfect image of how to harvest a yield of maturing love.

I also am reminded of something President Howard Hunter said, “Whatever Jesus lays his hands upon lives. If Jesus lays his hands upon a marriage, it lives…” (In Conference Report, Oct. 1979, 93)

Those who see the fruits of mature love have allowed the Savior’s hands to find rest upon their heads and inside their hearts to bless, help, strengthen, and save their unions.

Mature love.

It’s such a beautiful thing.

I want to work harder at cultivating it.

Laying fitting and well forming bricks one on top of the other day after day. Adding helpful pebbles that, sitting one on top of the other, begin to build a strong pyramid. Small things leading up to big results. Working and serving for the delight of a spouse. Pulling weeds, watering flowers – and not getting the order of that mixed up.

These are mature love builders.

In time, they produce…

Mature love.

Unto all the world: It’s so beautiful!