Welcome.

When I joined the Airforce, I completed boot camp in San Antonio, Texas on the side of the base that was used for training new recruits. Once I graduated from that memorable experience, I received my orders to my first station. Lo and behold, I was sent to San Antonio, Texas. Yep, right where I already was. The difference was that I marched to the other side of the base. There I happily ditched the title “trainee” and was permitted the company of “permanent party” Airmen instead of fellow trainees and drill sergeants. It was – if I might say so myself – a nice changeover.

In that capacity and on that base, I served my first four years in San Antonio, Texas. Overall, it was a wonderful experience, and I met so many good people. One of those I met was a darling older woman. I can’t recall her name, but she was heavily involved with any Airman who would let her serve him/her. She won my heart right away and often treated me to dinner off base and bestowed countless kindnesses upon my head and into my heart.

I know I’m not most people, but I fancy death and dying. I value the transition and the meaning associated with an only once commencement. Frankly, I find it fascinating. The journey, though as varied as humankind itself, is uniquely designed by a perfect Designer whose plan, though fully beyond finite comprehension, is absolutely incredible.

Even in my twenties in the military, I felt drawn to thanatology, hospice work, and chaplaincy and wanted to contribute therein – most probably in hospice. As good as she was, that sweet Texas doll heart persuaded me to lay that dream to rest and reach for something more (in her words) “lively and happy and upbeat” than death. Sadly, and to my regret for so many years, I listened to her (and didn’t in earnest seek Father’s will for me in that regard) and consequently buried that dream.

I’ve never fully resurrected it, but all these years later, I find myself still liking death and dying, still being drawn to thanatological concepts, wanting to better understand the death rituals of many cultures, and finding a tranquil presence in funeral homes.  

I have had some moments of sweet satisfaction, though. I worked a few months in a funeral home. Moreover, I was once on duty in a private home providing care for a woman with Alzheimer’s when her husband slipped through the veil. I will never forget the feeling that moment provided. And when I was living in Montana, I volunteered with hospice; those were some tender times.

Though my dream hasn’t been fully realized, I have been granted some fulfillment, thanks be to God.

And so today I wanted to offer a couple suggestions as they relate to death and dying. Or at least in the preparing.

Most people agree that preparation is an important element of living with direction and intention. Some folks choose to live life fully impulsively. Still, others blend some preparation with a healthy dose of spontaneity. Whatever your approach, this article invites you to consider the advantages of prior preparation when it comes to death, dying, and the process therein.

When faced with tough decisions for self or a loved one that concern death and dying or when taking care of necessary details after a death, prior preparation is almost always welcomed and appreciated. This brief article will suggest two ways preparing for death and dying may be of benefit to you or those for whom you care or love.

First, for whatever it is worth to you, I’d recommend making a “When I Die” file. There are so many ways to do this file; the important thing is to do it. You may leave important documents where you have them (in a fire retardant safe, in a filing cabinet, in a closet, electronically on a computer, etc.) and indicate in your “When I Die” file where those documents are and how to access them (this is the approach I have taken), or you may choose to put such documents themselves in a “When I Die” file. It really doesn’t matter. What matters is that they are accessible to those who will need them, although it is arguably a good idea to have things stowed safely away from the peril of fire and thieves.

My “When I Die” file is simple, and you can find way more detailed outlines online, but for framework purposes, here’s how mine looks:

In our filing cabinet, I have a flimsy manilla tabbed largish envelope titled on the front: “When Katrina Dies File” stuffed with a handful of papers/envelopes inside.

Page 1 –

Katrina Donahey’s social security number:

Katrina Donahey’s birthday:

The password to unlock my personal cell phone is:

The password to unlock my HP laptop that I use is:

The username and password for my blog, Untoalltheworld, is:

My personal email is:

The password for that email is:

Page 2 –

Our original marriage certificate (married where and when) is in…The key to open it is…

Our monthly expenses/obligations/bank account information is…

Our life insurance is…

My social security card is…

My driver’s license is…

Our will is…

(Etc. for important documents)

Page 3 –

This page details funeral and final disposition instructions to include:

Cremation or burial

Coffin preference

Pallbearers

Funeral Home preference

I want these songs sung at my funeral

I want this person/these persons to be invited to speak at my funeral

I want this person/these persons to play an instrument or sing at my funeral

Page 4 –

Please deliver these attached letters to my loved ones (letters written, tucked inside envelopes)

Page 5 –

The following are sentimental items to me (items listed)

Please do the following with these items (listed)

Page 6 –

Please contact the following individuals when I die (listed)

That’s it. Simple. But it’s something. And it will make it so much easier for those left behind. Making a “When I Die” file is really a caring act of service to help loved ones. It’s just nice. Just do it. 😊

And after you do it (if you do it like mine), just pray if your home gets robbed, the thief will skip your filing cabinet or just lock that thing up! But then where does the key go so someone will find it? Ah! So many things!

The idea here is to take one step forward in preparation, so whatever feels right to you, please just do that. Now for the second thought:

Five Wishes.

If you don’t know about Five Wishes, I urgently and highly recommend it. It may be among the best $9.00 you’ll ever spend on Amazon. It’s a small booklet of  11 pages, an advanced directive legal document. You fill in your five wishes as they relate to the following:

1. The Person I Want to Make Care Decisions for Me When I Can’t
2. The Kind of Medical Treatment I Want or Don’t Want
3. How Comfortable I Want to Be
4. How I Want People to Treat Me
5. What I Want My Loved Ones to Know

You sign this and get it notarized, and you can even cut out a little fold to keep in your wallet. It’s really an easy way to help your loved ones.

If I’m not mistaking, there are a handful of states that require (an) additional step(s) if you want to use “Five Wishes” as a legal document. I believe it meets the legal requirements of 46 states and is used in all 50 states.

10/10 recommend.

Normal people (whomever they are) probably don’t go around thinking about thanatology but those of us with a private or professional vested interest in the subject do, so take it or leave it. However, remember that making a “When I Die” file and filling in “Five Wishes” really could be a labor of love for those who will never forget you when you commence but who, nonetheless, will want to properly celebrate you. Your preparations to that end may really help them help you, so why not?

Unto all the world: Just do it!